A Moment of Understanding
by HP Slash Luv
Summary: James loses someone very important to him.


**Title:** A Moment of Understanding  
**Rating:** T  
**Pairing(s)/Character(s):** James Potter, Lily Evans  
**Warnings:** off-screen Character Death  
**Disclaimer:** Don't own 'em - not making any money off 'em. Dern it.  
**Word Count:** 967  
**Summary:** James loses someone very important to him.

**Notes: **

**Marauder Era Completion: **Round 5 – James Potter loses something of value. Prompts Used – Jutting, Fast, Entity, Illness, Close

**The Test Challenge: **Test 2 – A serious illness spreads through the wizarding world. Genre – Hurt/comfort, Tragedy

**Represent the Character II**

**Procrastinators United Competition III**

**Anything You Can**

* * *

The Great Hall is subdued. Even the normally joking Marauders are quiet. Everyone knows what's going on in the wizarding world. An unnamed illness is spreading throughout the world they know, making once healthy individuals fatally ill and no wizard or witch is safe from its deadly grasp.

There's no cure and no known way to prevent the sickness, even with all of the magic and potions that they have. The best Potions masters in the world are working on it, but so far there haven't been any breakthroughs and the deaths keep happening.

The deaths seem to come fast after the sickness hits, so at least there's minimal suffering. It doesn't relieve the worry everyone feels, knowing their families can be the next ones to suffer at any time, though.

An owl holding a black envelope flies into the Great Hall, and everyone watches its progress, hoping it's not coming to them. The owl makes its way to the Gryffindor table, and 75% of the student body lets out relieved sighs while the other quarter holds their breaths.

The owl lands in front of James Potter and he lets go of his fork. It doesn't fall down, jutting out from the sticky potatoes.

Sirius clasps James shoulder, provide silent comfort.

James has trouble swallowing, feeling a lump stuck in his throat. He's afraid to read the letter, afraid to find out which person he loves is forever gone.

Finally, he takes the letter with shaking fingers and opens it.

_Dear Heir Potter_,

_I'm sorry to inform you that your father, Lord Potter, has passed away._

James doesn't read any further – there's no need to – he already knows the cause of death. He stands up on shaky legs and strides out of the Great Hall, not waiting for Sirius when he calls his name. He just needs to be alone.

James knows he's close to breaking down, and he can't do that. At least he can't do it where there are witnesses. He was raised as a Pure-blood heir and knows the ramifications of the current Lord's death. He'll have a lot of responsibilities to take on, including taking care of his distraught mother. He has to keep his emotions in check until he's alone.

He goes to the tree by the Black Lake and collapses in on himself, hugging his body as he tries not to cry.

He and his father had been close. He didn't treat James like most Pure-blood Lords treated their heirs. James had been allowed to have fun and not just take lessons. His father had always been warm and affectionate, with both James and his wife. And now he's gone. It's just not fair.

Without realizing it, he lets out shuddering sobs, wishing it was all simply a bad dream.

A gentle hand on his shoulder startles him. He's already hiding his tears as he looks up into Lily's sympathetic eyes.

"I'm sorry," she says.

At one time, he would have been jumping for joy that she was talking to him, but now it seems so unimportant in the face of reality. "Sorry doesn't make it better."

"I know. It's okay to cry, though."

"You don't understand how Pure-bloods work, especially now that I will be Lord Potter."

Lily bites her bottom lip, correctly inferring who James lost from that statement. "I'm sorry about your dad, but everyone needs to let their emotions go once in a while, even if it's in a private setting. And I'm sure everyone needs to lean on someone else."

James looks at his knees. "It feels like my whole entity is broken. I don't know how it's going to get any better."

"I know it's cliché to say time heals all wounds, but it's the truth." She pauses, looking indecisive, before she continues, "No one at Hogwarts knows this, but I had a baby brother. When I was eight and he was four, we were at the pool and I was supposed to be watching him. I turned away for what only felt like a second and he fell in. I tried to save him, but I couldn't and unfortunately, my accidental magic didn't kick in. He died that day, and for such a long time, I blamed myself. And when I learned about magic, I blamed _it_ for not coming to the rescue."

She wipes away a tear. "It still hurts to think about him and I still feel guilty at times, but the pain has definitely dulled as has the guilt. What I'm saying is, I know how much it hurts, but even if you never truly stop missing you dad, it does get better."

James nods. "Thanks for trusting me with your secret, Lily. It means a lot to me."

Lily's eyes are pained as her lips tilt in a mockery of a smile. "I don't want to push when you obviously came out here to be alone, but if you need someone to talk to, someone who understands loss, I'm a good listener."

"I'll keep that in mind, but I would like to be alone right now."

She nods and get up, heading back to the castle.

James isn't sure how he's going to handle all of his new responsibilities, but the first thing he has to do is contact him mother. She needs him, and he'll do everything he can to be there for her. For now, he'll focus on the things he can handle, ignoring his own grief for the time being. Right now, that seems to be the easiest option available.

Maybe after things settle down and he has time to think about his father, he'll talk to Lily, tell her all about how amazing his father was.

For now, his mother is definitely his number one priority.


End file.
